Angelina and the Chocolate Explosion!

Okay, so Angelina has been doing really well with her Speech Therapy and tolerating food lately! So this evening we were having chicken alfredo and I decided Angelina needed to have some as well - the sauce anyway. I mashed up some of the noodles with the sauce and she really took it well. There were so many bits in her mouth but no gagging or getting choked up. She really does like Mama's alfredo sauce! The best thing about all this is that she is engaging the food by leaning forward to "get" some or helps with her sippy cup by putting her hand on it and pulling it forward.

After all the alfredo I decided she needed a desert as a treat for all her hard work - Swiss Miss swirl chocolate pudding! All I did was open it at first and set the cup in front of her. She started putting her hands in it and when she did I would just dunk them down farther so more of her hand would be covered in the pudding. She tasted some off of her hands and I was putting globs in her mouth. Again, no gagging or choking up! She had a good time with it as you can tell!

Thanks Mom, I needed that...

One thing that most don't know about me is that I have a sort-of-fear to delete old emails. It's like tossing a shirt you just might wear - I just never know when I might need that information. Anyway, I was going to download pictures from my camera and update posts here when I started looking for a specific email. As I am looking I am deleting useless information from a few years ago (I'm serious the oldest one was from 12/2006!) I came across a message from my mom titled "God Chooses A Mom" from March 25, 2008. As I read through it I found myself in tears as today has been a bit of a challenge. Bummed out because I had to cancel going to Mary's baby shower - which I was looking forward to - because Larry was completely exhausted from working too long and there was just no way he would have been able to get up mid-day to be with A and B while C went with me to this shower. Add to that pretty much all three kiddos behaving like little devils! I'm not kidding, it's like they knew I was irritated already today and just thought "ooh, lets have some fun with Mom today!" Anyway, here is the post from that email and by the time I read through it I was so thankful to even have had a bad day with these three than no good or bad times at all!

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God Chooses A Mom for A Disabled Childby Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.
"Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint.... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independance. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Thanks Mom!

The devestation of digital pictures lost.... :(

Okay, I realize now that I should have backed up the documents on my computer. I guess that was just not one of the top priorities on my endless list of things to do. Anyway, at the beginning of last month I had to take my computer in to be fixed because she just died on me. They told me that they would be able to get all my content and they would erase and then reinstall the original settings. Great! I was so happy that my pictures and other documents would be saved. Yeah! All would be right with the world again. WELL, not so much. I haven't had a chance until today to actually look at the backup disk they made of my content. Now at that time I was attending to a 2 month old and not getting quite enough sleep yet. I now realize that I should have specified which content and exactly where it was located to the nitwits that did the backup of my content. They backed up everything EXCEPT my huge picture file. There were pictures on here from LAST JULY. One whole year gone - in one fail keystroke - GONE! Christmas 2008 - did it actually happen? I don't know, I don't have any proof....B and A's 2nd birthday - apparently we skipped it.....The golf tournament pictures - POOF into thin air...The birth of my fully formed and gestationally mature baby - GONE! Pictures that no one else has, moments that can never be relived. I am trying to just get over it but when I think about it I just get sick.

Like I said, I know I should have backed this stuff up. Ultimately it's my fault and I could cuss myself out but dammit (there's that word again) I really want to be mad at the little computer geeks that fixed the stupid computer. I explicitly told them nature of pictures that were on this computer and that there were probably over a thousand. Much more (like 990 more!) than they backed up on this stupid disk!

At first Larry didn't understand why I would be just SO upset - basically what's done is done, get over it. Then I told him about Cirstyn's first pictures and you know what he said??? Oh no, the first picture of me holding my baby girl is gone??? I told him that at least there was a copy of that on our blog but not the rest. He was somewhat relieved, but then he realized all the pictures of the first moments our little family had with Cirstyn are gone.

I think I am going to be in mourning over this for at least a few days....I'm gonna go back up my pics now!

Brady's 1st School Event - Grandparents Day Breakfast!

Brady's first school event was the Grandparent's Day Breakfast. The kids sang songs, sort of, and of course my baby was the ham who was slinked out on the floor! He then sat on his knees smiling with such pride then he proceeded to inch his way to the audience like no one would notice him getting further away from the other kids. It was so funny! Once he reached the audience he stood up and made his way to us. He was so excited to see his Grams, Nana and Papa! He only cried a little bit without throwing a tantrum when I escorted him back around to his teacher and classmates. He was so cute and as you can see he had fun with his grandparents! Well, most of them anyway - Mom had Mike's car keys with her so with no transportation we had to give him a pass for the day.

Cirstyn is 4 months old!

Cirstyn Delaney is 4 MONTHS OLD! How can this be happening??? She's getting so big and it seems like just last week we brought her home....well maybe no last week, but you get my drift! I took her for her 4 month checkup and all is well. She weighed in at 13 lbs 10 oz and is measuring 25 1/4 inches tall! She's not quite rolling over from her back to her tummy but she sure is interested in getting those toys she can't reach. She grabs her feet and can move herself around in a circle! She pushes so hard to lift herself off the floor to see and it is so cute! She's developed a temper though. I think she's learned that from A and B listening to them get loud. Larry's says she gets it from me but the jury's still out on that one! I guess that is the difference between first born's and the rest. The rest have other small people to learn from the first born's are doing all the learning on their own. I don't remember Brady being fussy for no reason or making yelling sounds to get our attention. He was sweet until about 18 months then he became a toddler! I think Cirstyn has set the bar high and is going to try to get there a year too early! She has 2 little white marks under her bottom gum but nothings coming through just yet. She goo's and sings to us and we just love it! She loves to stand or sit on my lap and talk or just smile. Before we know it she will be sitting up all by herself and trying to crawl!

Our OTHER children.....

Okay this last month most of the posts have been monopolized by Angelina Brooke. Now for some words on the OTHER two kiddos in this house!

Cirstyn Delaney is getting so big. I weighed her today and she is right at 13.5 pounds! She is growing like a weed! Her personality is developing and we have been seeing more of who she is lately. She has such a cute giggly laugh and loves to smile. She's been "talking" to us lately and as soon as I figure out how to get video from my camcorder onto my computer I will upload the video we took today. I sat her in her bumbo seat and she really liked it. She just sat there looking around at her brother and sister just smiling away. Brady is so funny about her. If she's making any kind of noise he always says "Cirstyn crying". It's the cutest thing. He was helping me take pictures and video today!

Brady started back to the Mother's Day Out program - aka school - at the end of August and he is really enjoying it. He was so cute the first day back all excited to go see the boys and his teacher. I left the picture of his class last year up on the wall in his room so we talked about it a lot this summer. He wore his little back pack and carried his lunch bag like a big boy. No tears or clingyness, just in to play! I cant' believe how much he has grown this year. He is starting to talk in simple sentences and repeats EVERYTHING we say. The other day I noticed him throwing his cars on the floor and saying "dammit" like he was mad at them - yes he got that from us! I couldn't believe it. Needless to say Larry and I are watching everything we say!

He has learned to go to bed at night all by himself, after being tucked in and given butterfly, Eskimo and regular kisses! We are still working on taking a nap by himself, but Rome wasn't built in a day. He just amazes me how calculating he can be. I can see him counting all his cars then messing them up and counting them again. He has been singing so much lately. ABC's, Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Little Star and a few others we made up. It's so completely cute! We have an African type of CD in the car with songs about different animals and he prefers that to the nursery rhyme songs. He just sings away back there in his seat! He is getting to be so grown up - he's still my breath of fresh air!

Angelina's got new equipment and new moves!

Yesterday I took Angelina to her usual therapy sessions but it was a special day because she received the Wiggles Stander and the bath chair we have been waiting for! She really enjoys being in the stander. She can play freely with toys because it has a tray to set things on and she does quite well in it! We have been advised to only allow her in it for 15 minutes several times per day then increasing that amount of time by 5 minute increments to get up to 45 minutes.

I am so proud of this girl right now. She is doing so well with her therapy sessions and she tries so hard to sit up by herself. She is almost there! She gets up on her elbow or even up on her extended arm, but just hasn't quite figured out how to get the rest of the way up. Angelina's oral aversion has been so desensitized since we started this whole process and now she will take drinks of "pink milk" aka strawberry Pediasure. After the first taste she grabs at the cup and leans forward to get to the cup. I always ask her to take a drink so she sees that she has to want to get some before there is any in her mouth. She likes iced animal cookies and can pick one up from her tray and actually put it in her mouth. She gets a little bit of crumb on her tongue but she doesn't reject it and keeps trying to get more.

On August 6 she had her first BOTOX treatment and a week after that we started with the Craniosacral Osteopathic Manipulation (COM) therapy. I asked her physical therapist yesterday what her opinion was about the COM and she thinks it is playing a good part in all this good stuff she is doing. She said that BOTOX weakens the muscle to allow for stretching and easier movement but does nothing for intentional fluidity of movements. I was so happy to hear that! FINALLY something is working for Angelina! Larry and I learned a long time ago to live in the reality of her condition, basically don't be naive about what she can and can't do, and with that in mind keep ourselves open to lots of hope. I know now that moments like these that she has been having, seeing the lights come on inside her, make it all worth keeping feelings and expectations at bay until it's time to unleash them! I do have have high expectations for her but some of those come with a big dose of hope.

Moving on.....I found out that once Angelina turns 3 - this January - she will be eligible to attend school district pre-school. I am excited about this for her because that means she will be getting therapy EVERY DAY of the week in addition to the PT, OT and ST we do with Cook Children's. She will have role models to try to follow and do the things they are doing as well as social interaction with other children that are similar to her. On the other hand, it really freaks me out to think that I will have to leave her with teachers of whom I hope are capable of caring for her. I will be able to observe for as long as I want until I'm comfortable and I know I will reach that level sooner than I think but it still give me anxiety to think of leaving her. It will be a million times harder than it was leaving Brady with the church ladies for mother's day out. Not because I love him less but because he can tell me if something is wrong. With Angelina I would have to see physical marks or try to interpret her social cues. I am really trying not to play the "worst-thing-that-can-happen-to-your-kid" game inside my head but it's hard.

I have also found a type of therapy called Conductive Education. There is a place in Dallas that has a program and I am in the process of researching that now. In a nutshell it basically is intensive, aggressive physical activity made out to be fun. The kids go for 5 hours per day for 5 days per week for like 4 or 5 weeks. It's a commitment but if it can help her then I think it's worth going to. By doing repetitious movements and exercises the brain has the ability to "re-route" pathways for telling the body how to move. Angelina's therapists are torn about it. One had a patient similar to Angelina that really responded well to Conductive Education. The other had a patient that didn't. However, the one that didn't respond well had low (floppy) tone and she wasn't strong in her joints. While she's not totally signing off on this that same therapist thinks that Angelina would respond well to it because her muscles are strong from the work we've been doing and she doesn't have loose joints to watch out for. Plus, they both agree that I have been doing this with them long enough that I know what my child's limitations are and would know if they were moving her in a way that wasn't good for her. SO, more on that when I have more information.

Angelina also has an appointment with Dr. Johnson in Richardson to talk about Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT). I am so glad to finally get an appointment with him to see what he recommends for her. More on that after next Wednesday!

Okay, I am out of typing breath!!!